There comes a moment in every parent’s life when it become necessary to hide certain things from your child. That’s generally around the time when your son or daughter starts to understand what you’re saying.
I began spelling many, many things several months ago. Around the time when it became apparent that Peanut was a voracious eavesdropper; repeating everything when least appropriate (obviously). Of course, it didn’t take long before realizing that I don’t spell well – hard words, at least. So for now we’re sticking with simple words like “c.o.o.k.i.e” and “p.a.r.k.” and avoiding complicated ones such as “p.e.n.g.u.i.n.” and “v.a.c.u.u.m.”. (And yes, there are times when it’s appropriate to codify both of those.)
Still, it’s infiltrated every aspect of my being. Walking with a friend last week, I explained why I planned on hiring someone to cut my lawn. “I hate yard work,” I said. “And my lawn looks like s.h.i.t.” Our kids were running ahead – absolutely out of ear shot. But spelling it just felt…natural. Explain that. Motherhood’s certainly rotted my brain and destroyed every modicum of privacy I ever had showering or pooping. Now I can’t even swear effortlessly when my kid’s not around. What’s left?
As one friend pointed out at soccer this past Saturday morning, “we’re really screwed when our kids learn how to spell, aren’t we?”
Touche.
Although she probably should have said “s.c.r.e.w.e.d.”
I can think of many a time to codify vacuum, lol!
in our house we always joke how you can’t say shit in front of the k.i.d.
Ah! What memories! We used to refer to the park as “the big, green grassy place” before we gave up and started to spell it.
RE: swearing. A few years back, Miles was in the garage, moving stuff around, looking for something. (Our garage is a nightmare; that’s were the Chaos Demon lives. We call him George.) He dropped a lamp that belonged to my grandmother, which of course shattered. Little did he know that Aeron was watching him thru the dog door. Next thing we knew, she was prancing around, saying, “Shit! Shit! Shit!”
It’s SO hard not to laugh……
Hahaha! Can totally relate to this one! Too funny!
We spell out a lot these days.
Haha… this is too funny! You are right – your life is really going to change the day she learns to spell!
Oh boy am I screwed when my kids are able to spell! I too am one of those moms that accidentally spells things out all the time when the kids are not in close proximity.
I appreciate your stories. This one had me laughing, especially the pooping, showering and swearing part.
I hear ya, I do spell out a lot of things. Sometimes my husband is like, “huh?” because the word is too long. Yes, when the kids learn how to spell, we’re in trouble!
It is ALL OVER as soon as she learns to spell. O.V.E.R.