As Peanut neared twenty four months, I waited in anticipation for “two word” sentences. That’s what Baby Center told me I should be expecting, anyways. And although I try to avoid investing too much energy in the recommended milestones (because every child is different, of course), it was impossible not to peek. Her vocabulary was expanding – absolutely. But slowly.
I’ve been given a myriad of advice with respect to language development. And one of the most difficult things about motherhood is filtering that information. As a parent, you never really know whether you’re doing the right thing. Particularly when there’s conflicting advice. Particularly with the first child. (Or maybe ever.)
Peanut is growing up in a house where two languages are spoken – Mandarin Chinese and English. Although most of her exposure is to English (I don’t – and will most likely never – speak Chinese beyond the most basic of words), around 40% of the time Jerry speaks to her in Mandarin. I’ve been told that children in bi-lingual households can have the “appearance” of a delay. And my husband spoke incredibly late, according to his mother. But still, I worried. For months. So I decided to make an appointment and actually have her assessed, by an impartial professional. It seemed prudent, especially with pre-school approaching.
Our appointment was two weeks ago. I loved the speech pathologist we visited; she was kind, thorough, and thoughtful. Peanut related incredibly well. After about an hour of various questions and tasks, she concluded that Peanut doesn’t need therapy per se. Still, she recommended several things we could do to help bump up her language. She also suggested we watch her for the next several months and come back if things don’t appear to be improving.
Even since the appointment Peanut’s language has become increasingly clear. It probably will continue to. And when she catches up we’ll be waiting. In the mean time, I’ll be that woman at the park annunciating TUR-TLE.
You know, the one everybody thinks is bananas.
That’s my normal.
And perhaps some form of that is everyone’s normal.
Every milestone is met with some kind of anticipation from us as parents I think. I’m always a little bit worried that Ethan won’t achieve such and such goal. That I will have failed him as a parent. It’s not easy and neither is every one else’s two cents! Kids are funny though. They like to do things on their own time and most of our worrying is for nothing. I’m sure Peanut will be just fine and I think you did the right thing by keeping tabs on the issue. Even if our worrying turns out to be for nothing…that’s our job right?
I love every little thing about Peanut. What she lacks in complex sentences she makes up for in Thomas knowledge, sneakiness, amazing hugs, and her insane cute factor.
I’ll also happily join you as a kooky mom at the park. You can say Tur-tle while I pull Nut’s finger out of her nose and try to talk her down from the ledge.
this is definitely everyone’s normal in some way! I’m glad you had an appt & that you know you are on the right track. You make a good point that the first child does cause more worry and confusion–you truly don’t know what to expect and everyone tells you something different. Your instincts are great!
I’m glad the speech therapist gave you some peace of mind. And I bet Peanut will be blurting out those long, strung-out toddler sentences (“mommyiwantcookie!”) any time now.
I’m sure you aren’t the only woman in the park saying “TUR-TLE” over and over! In our house, it’s “belly BUT-TON” over and over, as Laura lifts her shirt to point hers out.
I think it’s amazing that you are raising her in a bilingual household! Kudos to you Momma and you’re not bananas…same crazy train is going on in our house too…WA-TER!
Peace of mind is always a good thing and you never lose anything by having someone take a closer look-you only get more information!
I, too, am a member of the Peanut fan club-she is so sweet and thoughtful, and even brings an extra Thomas for a friend!
And I think it’s pretty clear that I’m the wacky momma at the park using the vacuum as a bargaining chip…;)
Every first-time mother is….um….overly concerned about her first-born. Even me, the “older” mother from the pragmatic MidWest. Later on, you’ll feel like a goof for having fretted so much over things that, in retrospect, were kinda silly. I remember panicking when I was told my girls weren’t getting enough tummy time. Had I ruined them for life?! Would they forever after be developmentally behind?!? How could I be such a horrible parent!?!? The truth was, the girls didn’t like tummy time and fussed. I tended to not do it as there is only so much crying one woman can take, you know? And the week they learned to roll over? Ye gods, what a nightmare! One would roll over, and then cry cause she couldn’t get back on her back. So, I’d roll her onto her back. Then the other one would do the same thing. I’d roll her back. Then the first one would do it again. All day, every day, for a week. Thank goodness I wasn’t breastfeeding, cause… man! I drank a lot of chardonnay that week. My girls were plenty strong and learned to crawl all too soon.
It’s your job to worry. But perspective, and the occasional expert opinion/reality check with other mothers will help you keep from falling down the rabbit hole of panic. You’re doing just fine, dear.
My DD didn’t seem to say 2 word sentences at age 2, but within a month started go and it went on from there. Each month after 2 years old seems like a big milestone because at this age they progress so quickly that a month makes a huge difference. Glad all went well at the appointment.
Lulu spoke early…but it didn’t come easy. I worked with her and talked to her and made a song out of everything I would do. It might seem silly, but she took to it like a bug to a light and she has been talking ever since. Now at 26 months she can talk in sentences and it still amazes me! She will get there…don’t you worry. Until then, know that your tur-tle is helping more than you think!
WM
Yes, Im one of those crazies too. “Look at the red car Flynn, can you say car? can you see it is red?” etc etc etc. Im sure people think Im mad!!!
I know how worrisome it is when you believe your child has delays. Parenting my almost 8 year old and 16 month old has been two completely different worlds and I learned a long time ago to take all the websites with a grain of salt. As mom you and you alone know your child better than anyone, it’s so easy to compare your child’s development with other children her age, but a lot of the time it’s more discouraging. Listen to your heart and your child, after all, what is “normal” anyways right?
Great post, love your honesty!
i think it’s totally normal and we all do it. my friend just told me that i pronounce my k’s hard. MIL-K. I wonder why?
Oh please. I don’t read BabyCenter anymore for that exact reason. Peanut is perfect and just to show you who’s boss, is going to do things at her own pace. I was concerned about S’s speech until about 4 months ago when he really started talking more. Our babysitter didn’t speak English well so I found a Spanish speaker and while he’s learning both, I’ve seen a ton of improvement as he gets older. So for him, I know it’s just an age thing. School will also be helpful. I think it’s great that you’re monitoring the situation because it is good to catch any issues early but first time parents, myself included, are famous for overreacting to the smallest delays, according to my pediatrician who I hounded about it
My little man took forever to speak in sentences…but now that he is…WOW has it been a constant stream of chatter!
Hang in there, Sarah! Maddie has been in therapy for just about a year. Initially it was Expressive and Articulation delays, and now it is just Articulation and our therapist is considering giving us a break come October because Maddie is doing so well.
I’ve been where you are and I think it’s great you had an eval.
On a slightly different note, I have a handful of friends who have raised their kids with 2 languages and I can tell from my own experience around those kids and in talking with their parents, that ALL of them were “late” in the talking department.
It seems to be common among the dual-language set. Try not to worry much.
Don’t stress, my cousin didn’t start talking until he was 5 years old (and I mean no real words before then). Obviously we were all worried. He turned out fine, even graduated top of his class from Rice Univ. with an engineering degree. Needless to say, a slow start didn’t slow him down in life.
I think we all worry when our kids don’t make the milestones they are supposed to. Glad that you took the initiative to take her for assessment. She is extremely lucky to grow up in a household teaching her two languages!
I think that language delay is something all parents worry about. I know I did for a long time with my son. Other parents were constantly talking about all that their kid(s) were saying, and mine just wasn’t. He came around in his own time and is now quite the chatter box.
I have had plenty of friends with kids who didn’t even talk at all till they were two, and then the next thing you knew they couldn’t stop! I am sure that she is doing great…and the fact that she understands two languages is amazing!!
Your concern is completely understandable. However, I caution you, once little girls start full-fledged speaking THEY NEVER STOP. Little boys can drive you crazy with their running around and little girls will make you wish you could block you ears.
totally understood. fwiw, my sister took her son in for the same reason, and in the month since his language has exploded. your sweet girl is learning TWO languages… so when she starts talking, she’ll already be way ahead of most of us.